Let’s be honest, there are those of use who were not born into the best family. And before we get critical and start comparing our stories to others, let’s just listen and relate to our struggles.

I was a loner for the longest time and I had such regret and resentment towards the world. I never had what some of my friends were lucky enough to have; someone to look up to, someone to lean on, or even someone to tell my day about. I would always dread the school day coming to an end as I would have to face the crushing reality. No one was waiting for me back home. And while this may seem melodramatic and something all teenagers inevitably say, I felt helpless and alone.

Due to everything I had going on at home, I forced myself to become secluded and bitter. COVID-19 made everything worse in that regard, entrapping me into this comfort bubble I had blown for myself. I was extremely introverted and I hated the idea of even raising my hand in class, just in case someone didn’t agree with my silly opinions. But, to my dismay, I forced myself into harder advanced classes and became more involved in extracurricular activities for some kind of sustained distraction. And when that wasn’t enough, I joined the most demanding thing I could think of, Theater. It had everything I lacked and hated about myself; the void of my self-confidence, the inability to be social, shaking-in-my-boots-kind-of stage fright, and the mere idea of putting myself out there. Because I was so scared, I took a step back from theater and ran into the one direction my dad never thought I would go after those years of trying to force me into sports. I joined Wrestling and juggled the harsh sport with my Dual Credit classes, multiple UIL’s, Choir, Magazine, and my job. Let’s just say, sports didn’t take kindly to me. And my distractions stabbed me in the back. I failed a class. I vanished into thin air and dropped Journalism UIL, the one thing I had going for me. Everything fell apart.

For years, I struggled with severe depression and anxiety. And when I finally got the courage to ask my parents for therapy, I was met with empty promises and threats sewn into a lecture. I was never taken seriously and the main excuse was my family’s financial status. And while that is understandable to an extent, my parents ignored me for years and called me callous, lazy and selfish over and over again, no matter how hard I worked to refute those accusations. All it took was one wrong thing, and nothing I did mattered. I was a step away from dropping out of school and running away from home. Maybe, in some type of dystopian future, I would dye my hair neon blue and become some punk kid who did nothing but waste her life away.

But do you want to know what got me through it? My friends and my teachers. And yes, if you hadn’t guessed, I was dragged back into Theater. I missed my Director and I didn’t have the luxury of Wrestling to distract my mind and my body after I dropped the sport. I was this pent-up ball of anxiousness and helplessness and because of that, it made me end up as the one thing I swore to never be. An actor. But I ended up loving my roles and the community I was slowly becoming a bigger part of. I did things I never thought myself capable to do, and in the process of finding myself, I found something else. A family. And not just with Theater. My passion for writing and singing re-ignited, and suddenly the world wasn’t so dark anymore. And because of my teachers and my close friends, I was able to pull myself out of a place that I never knew I had the strength to pull myself out of. And I may not outwardly say “You’re the best! I love you!”, to those around me, but I do hold a special kind of love in my heart for each and every single person who has helped me have the home I was never born into. But….. Let’s be honest, I didn’t find them- they found me. I’ve just been riding on their backs this whole time, kicking my legs back and forth, eating a sucker, and enjoying the view.

But for a second, let’s give a moment to those scars that will never heal and thank those for molding us to the person we are today. Take every memory you can rack up and give it that warmth that no one could when you needed it the most. Then I want you to take a look at yourself, knowing you’ve been from Hell and back, and say, “I did that.” And whenever you’re stressed or think that there is nothing left to look forward to, just think, “I made it this far and I’ll be damned if I let anyone stand in my way.”

And I hope, for whoever is reading this, knows that someone out there, like me, is rooting for you to carve the path to your own future.

After all, everyone loves an underdog.